i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
