she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize