whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
