Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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