the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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