O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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