her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
