Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
