I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
