I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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