Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
