He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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