Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
