may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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