just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
