I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
