Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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