living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
