do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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