Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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