I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
