Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
