i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
