My brain says no but my pants say off.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
