Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize