im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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