He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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