you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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