stop calling my apartment porn island.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
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The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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