so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
