I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
