I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
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I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
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I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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