made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
either way he was missing a nipple.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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