the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
