i just wanna soil my oats bro
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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