so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
