I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
