I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
