She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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