I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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