so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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