By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
