You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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