How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize