Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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