I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
