Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
