Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize