Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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