I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
