Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
