it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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