5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
