I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You were trust falling into bushes
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
