what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I have tasted many bathrooms
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