worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
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That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
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had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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