Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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