I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
