C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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